Choosing clarity in my communication is a constant task I take on. I notice that what I hear, what I say, and what I understand is crystal to me and fog for other parts in my world.
This morning I turned the knob on the shower to run a bit hotter than usual. When I felt the hurts so good burn on my skin, I chose to be clear today.
You know how sometimes you think you understand what someone is asking you to do when in reality you find out that they meant something different? Well, every time I work with a new client, I find that my understanding and perception is usually very different from theirs.
The solution is simple although I have to make this a regular task: confirm what you just heard. “What I hear you saying is…”
I chose to be clear today because no matter how much we think we are clear, we discover that it’s not that something is wrong with our communication, it is that we all come from different levels of understanding.
On the flip side I have friends who know what I mean ALL the time, can regurgitate what I say to someone else and add crispy to the clarity that I thought I delivered. I have served others in the same way, so it’s interesting to notice that when it comes to relationships, we hold a lot of value in communication – yet it seems to be one of the biggest breakdowns.
I am so grateful for my few friends who know exactly what I am thinking when I relay a scenario of communication breakdown to them. There have been situations where I have wondered what my problem was, and perhaps I am indeed going loco in my busy, busy mind.
I have calmed down though, because here is my lesson: we are not BAD at communication, we just think, speak, and hear differently. But here is the real distinction: We don’t see things as they are. We see things, feel things, hear things, and understand things as WE are.
I am known for taking immediate fault on things because I was kind of conditioned this way but I am not always this way. In fact, I find I am very aware of how I react to what people say, and how others react to what I say. That in itself is the biggest resource in shifting how I can do things differently because I am already thinking that I can.
So, fret not, lovelies, there is nothing wrong with us. AND – there is nothing wrong with the people around us who struggle with getting what we’re saying. It’s in the patience of this awareness thing that we’re taking on, that will make the foggy fog in our immediate personal world go away.